Monday, September 12, 2011
When my mother and dad went to heaven 10+ years ago, (one year and a day apart)... I went through a dark period in my own faith.
Two very important things I have learned in the past 10 years:
Much of my walk with Jesus through the years was based on the strong faith of my parents, it was as if THEIR faith was MY faith.
I know in looking back, that I rode on their coat tails for a lot of my christian walk. If I was worried, or fearful, I was okay with it because THEY were okay with it. They had lived through their lives and learned who their safety net was. I sensed that and thought that it was the same for me. They 'did the work' of learning God's ways.... I put that on like a warm coat, and felt safe.
When they died, I felt the normal feelings of grief and sadness, we were very close. But I also had an additional grief... where did my faith go, it seemed to have disappeared, and God seemed so distant.
This first great lesson God taught me was... the same God that was THEIR God is also MY God!
It was later that I re-learned... 'He was there all the time'... I was already His, from the time I invited Him into my heart at 5 years old.
The things they learned and lived in their lives were not mine simply because I was their child.
That may seem so obvious, but it wasn't as clear to me. Just as my parents learned to know God through their daily walk and obedience... so do I.
My life is my own responsibility, and what I learn of God is coming because of my choices, not theirs.
Yes, they taught, they lived and they showed me by example, but it is not MY experience until and unless I have obeyed God in the ways He is teaching me. His plan for my life is for me. He has a special blueprint with my name on it. The title is "Sonja".
We begin this life with a clean slate, even though the sin nature is there, and what we do, what we choose, how we live, how we obey God... is what we are filling the slates of our lives with.
Sometimes I feel like my slate is coming along pretty well...
Other times I know that it looks like a confusing mess.
Above all, I know that HE is the one who enables me to add, eliminate and clarify what it written on the slate of my life, and it is never too late for the confusion and the mess to be cleared, organized and made right!
A couple of lessons I'm learning as I journey onward...
Posted by Sonja Goodson at 5:42 AM