Monday, October 25, 2010

Is this the same mom & dad who raised us??...

Our grown children who now have their own children, have said on more than one occasion...

"What on earth has happened to you?"

Of course, the reason for their comment is because we are now the grandparents of their children! If you are a grandparent, this blog needs no explanation! In case you aren't, let me try to explain...

When you are raising your own children:

... you know that YOU are the one responsible for them to 'get it right'

... you also know that you are way underqualified for the job, so you are on 'high alert' for behavior that is not what you think it should be, and quick to jump in and correct or 'straighten out' that behavior, in case that child misses the lesson to be learned and they develop a more serious problem because you didn't correct it in the first place! :)

One of the great joys of being a grandparent is the knowledge that the buck no longer stops with you!

So now... instead of trying to make everything that crosses their path or yours a 'teaching moment'... you have the freedom to enjoy the fact that they said or did something funny and you can smile or even laugh out loud about it, rather than jump on the bandwagon and immediately correct something that wasn't serious to begin with...

You can also let them inhale spagetti noodles while the tomato sauce flies all over the table without telling them that they weren't being raised in a barn!

Our kids, as parents of their own kids, are making our hearts proud...

From our vantage point... things do look a little different. Majoring on small issues has lost it's intensity. I don't mean let them get by with anything... but you know what I mean...

What has become really important to me is to affirm each child as the opportunities come up, and to not preach, but ask God and let Him direct me to 'a word fitly spoken'... and He does!

We are praying that each of our 6 will really KNOW that Jesus is their best friend, the friend who is always there and will never be anything but faithful. They have all accepted Him and are being lead daily by their own parents along the path of instruction.

As recently as this weekend, the doorbell rings, about 6 times... and little faces and hands were plastered to the glass, peeking through to be sure we were home. That will forever be one of my favorite sights as we both make a bee-line for the door!

So... it's true... we really aren't the parents they were raised with, but neither will our kids be when it's their turn!!


"But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children..." (Ps.103:17) KJV


22 comments:

Debbie said...

Sonja, I have the feeling that you are a great grandma to have! I'm sure it is different from being a mother with all of the responsibilities for making sure you teach them well. It's more fun being the grandma.

Btw, I got to volunteer in the children's program at church yesterday. I thought I was in heaven as baby Peter fell sound asleep in my arms as I was rocking him.

Love you,
Debbie

Pain to Purpose said...

My mom needs to read this! She surely isn't the same woman who raised me!! Every time I open her pantry now, I am reminded when I see Frosted Mini Wheats and Captain Crunch and all the "junk" we weren't allowed 25 years ago! Although I think that's more my dad's influence now...
Looking forward to my turn in about 25 years.
Carrie

Deborah Ann said...

Heavens yes, I agree! Grandchildren are much more fun. We have the same faces pressed against the glass here...well, actually they run right in, and head right to the candy jar! They are so spoiled. They know it, we know it. But I love it!

Loren said...

Oh Sonja! This is soooo very true :) On both accounts! I HAVE asked my parents this VERY question & now that I am a grandma I completely & totally understand their answer as well as yours!!!! Having a whole new perspective is beautiful when your looking through with "grandma eyes" isn't it :)

Love & blessings!

Debbie said...

I'm so glad you found me through The Old Geezer. In turn, I could visit you.

This whole post made me smile! It wasn't from the perspective of a grandparent since that's still just a desire of my heart. My girls aren't even out of college yet.

I smiled from the perspective of the mom watching the above mentioned metamorphosis take place in my own parents. We teased them just as your kids tease you.

From where I sit, grandparenting is a beautiful thing. I have had the joy of watching my parents, now just my mom, lavish on my children what they could not afford financially and (more) parentally to lavish on us. My daughters will forever be marked by their grandparents' love.

Great post.

Farm Girl said...

This was something I pondered when I had my own kids, my Dad darn near killed me with all of the spankings I received and this same man cried like a baby when I spanked my own. Then I had my own grand kids and I even think sometimes their moms and dads are a bit strict. :) It is so true, I love not having to be so rough but being to enjoy each one and not be the one on the hot seat. I am very thankful how mine have turned out and very thankful for the babies and more thankful that I get the job of enjoying them.

deodate said...

Sonja, althought I'm not a grandma quite yet I can certainly relate to your post. I love to watch my own children interact with my parents. It's a very special relationship and I look forward to the day....just not quite yet.
Andie

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

You are my kind of grandma! Kinda like me - haha!

Diana said...

Sonya, I SO get this, too!!! What a blessing to get to be the "Nanna and Papa."

LisaShaw said...

Having had the worlds best Grandma (in my eyes of course) and now being a Grandma to two beautiful baby girls I can tell you this post is rich!

I love this: "What has become really important to me is to affirm each child as the opportunities come up, and to not preach, but ask God and let Him direct me to 'a word fitly spoken'... and He does!"

That is my prayer as well.

I know dear friend that you are a jewel of a Grandma!!! Love you!

Chambray Blue said...

Being a Grammy is wonderful. God sent the perfect gift when He gave me my little angels to love and to spoil. Thanks for sharing this sweet post.

Janette@Janette's Sage said...

So, so precious!!! I can't wait..but I have been accused of raising number 6 like a grandchild instead of a child...but then I had 22 years of experience before he entered the world. I don't sweat the little things this time around.
I am hoping I receive this grandmother title in 2011!!!
How blessed your grandchildren are!!!

Debra said...

My kids say this all the time too! I've often wanted to answer but could not get the words together. You've done a fine job of answering this question, next time it's brought up I'm going to tell them to see this post! :)

Debbie said...

Oh I can't tell you how I enjoyed this post...and I soo identify. My oldest son said to me just the other day, "Are you MY mom? How is it that there is a candy jar FULL of candy just sitting here on your counter?" hahaha Grandkids are just one of life's biggest blessings...and that's just what they do everytime I see them...bless me. But your right. Now I look for "little" opportunties to talk about Him and life's lessons instead of the big load that is on thier parents. Isn't Grandparenthood just wonderful??? Have a good day. HUGS

myletterstoemily said...

i just love this! i'm not even a grandparent yet, but
i feel like one to all my daughter's friends' kids,
especially emily's. and i act just like one!

last night i held emily's brand new baby, and i was
in heaven just looking at her perfect little fingers
and sweet little bow mouth.

sigh. someday. :)

Shirley said...

Well, I adore the drawing! And I had to smile as I read this.

One of the hilarious things we do is when the g-kids are misbehaving--just as their parents did toward us, Don and I simply look at one another grinning and say: You live long enough... To which we would quickly receive a glare from our daughters :D :D :D

Rita said...

Well, yeah, you are right... We change when it's our time to be grandparents instead of parents... AND isn't it GREAT? I try to make sure that mine do the things that their parents have taught them, but I don't have to "crack the whip", so to speak, like I once did. It's wonderful having grandchildren. I like being a grandparent!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

They tell me it will be wonderful when it happens; I tell them I'm content to wait a bit longer. But oh how do I enjoy when grandparents are willing to let kids come for an extended visit so momma and daddy can get some rest! Spoiling a plenty and I don't mind a bit.

Can I be your grandkid for a day? I'd let you spoil me and everything...

peace~elaine

Just a little something from Judy said...

I totally agree with you on this post. I find being a grandma a very special role. I also hear my daughter saying, "what has happened to you mom?" I smile. Someday she will understand and someday she will write a post like this one. Thanks for sharing every single post that you do.

Sassy Granny ... said...

Boy do I relate! In fact, Terry calls me "The Sugarplum Fairy" where the grandkids are concerned.

Parenting is heavy duty stuff. This grandparenting stuff is definitely lighter fare; and such a source of immense joy.

I'm with you. It does my heart good to see our adult children see this other side of us. They'll recognize it in themselves all too soon.

Hugs,
Kathleen

Michele Katherine said...

Sonya,
I love that your sense of humor in your post. Your joy of being a grandparent shows.
I long for the day I have grandchildren, but I think were going to have to get a mail order bride, if my son does not marry before we turn 90 years old " I'm joking of course" well at least about the part before were 90. Your blessed!!
Have a good night,
Michele Katherine

Just Be Real said...

Sonja lovely post of truth. Thank you so much for your support and prayers dear one.